Helpful steps before contacting me:

  1. Check out my awesome resume! It's worth a read, trust me.

    I know this sounds silly, but it's really wasting my time and yours - if you're calling me for a position I have no experience or aren't qualified for then it wastes both our time. If you read my resume, then we have something to discuss at least after the awkward silence that comes from offering me a position I'm clearly not qualifed to do.

  2. Know the rate before you call me.  Don't ask me what rate I'll accept. 

    Don't play the rate-guessing game. Know the rate before you call me. Seriously, don't even ask me what rate I'll accept. You've got a rate range in mind? Share it, and I'll let you know if it works for me.

    Time is precious, so let's respect it. If you want me to name my acceptable rate, I'm going to ask for $10 million, full health care, 90 days of vacation, and a personal corporate Batmobile. (Spoiler alert: I will actually do this!)

  3. Be respectful of my time and yours.  If you don't have a specific job to discuss ... Don't call me.

    No job? No call. It should be really that simple to understand.  Don't ring me up just to ask if I'd like to work with you. I'm a contractor. I'll work for almost anyone if the job is right and he money is good.

    Let's keep things respectful and efficient.  Here's how:

    Reach out to me by sending me an email with all the info you do have, ask me to schedule some time with you and I will.  We can set up a scheduled time, and an agenda of items - we can answer questions faster, and more effectively.

  4. What am I looking for in my next assignment? What are my preferences? 

    This is a standard question, it's almost cliche.  I get that you're "Looking to find positions that best suit me", but the reality is, you're going to offer me positions that you have, which match the skills in my resume.  If you legitimately can offer me a bespoke job in this day and age -- you're probably a boutique firm, in which case -- if you've read my resume, you know exactly what I am looking for so you're not going to ask that question, and if you are... well ... please see Items #2 and #3 - and be aware that I really am hoping you can offer me that Batmobile! 

    This is not being rude, or to indicate that your not authentic in your goals or understanding. But I have a career that is based on two things:  The first - is my full on passion for all aspects of technology.  Not just the hardware or the software but the business of it as well.  There is no area of technology that I am not a full on geek about.  So anything you have might be a good fit for me, provided it's involving IT or Software or Hardware or making it come about.  The second, is that because I have been doing this for so long -- I can see things about a job you can't.  I can see where there's a challenge, or the possiblity to learn or create something to help a group, department or team succeed, or bring a product to fruition, or even develop a new method of reporting or data analysis.  In every job I've had, I have learned something new.  That is what drives me.  Improving teams, learning new things, bringing about insane goals and making things happen.  That is my preference. 

    So first find a job.  Don't ask me about hypothetical possiblities.  Start with something real.  Then let me have all the data, and let me decide.  I will tell you - if this is one of my preferences.  Trying to explain how I see them, is like asking a bird to explain to a fish, what flying is all about.   You might get some insight, but you'll never understand it as well as I do. 

  5. How often do you update this page?

    Me?  Update this page?  Seriously?  I don't.  I automated this years ago.   It's updated instantly.

    If you've read my resume - and you DID read my resume right?  Because if you did, then you know I actually am fairly skilled as a developer.  Creating a web page that autoupdates from a database is pretty simple for me.  Creating one using a database fueled by an app I created that runs in Outlook to read and reply to recruiters' emails, categorizing them... that's also not that difficult for me. 

    But the short answer is - this is updated anytime an event is triggered, a new offer sent to me, an offer is changed, I get considered for an interview.  Within minutes of that happening, my database is updated and you can see it here.